Relationship Tides
Have you ever noticed how relationships are like the tide?
The ocean edge, covered and exposed in cycles.
The way it comes in and out-
Close and then far,
High and then low.
The moon influences the tide by a magnetic system,
The closer the moon to that part of the planet-
The higher the tide.
I often think about how the opposite side of the world has very low tides:
the closer the moon to the other side.
It’s as if the benefit of one takes away the balance of another.
Where there is overabundance, there is the counter opposite somewhere in the world.
It makes sense to me how relations will do this also-
Intentionally or by default.
Those who intensify a bond with one, might alienate another.
Where the energy suck is the highest,
Pulling away the energy from the furthest point.
A former friend of mine once accused me of this-
Trading one relationship for another.
Although it was not much true.
Trading one in for another...
Actually....
I have not been good at maintaining relationships- in general- since my daughter passed.
Since my career became such a heavy focus.
Since nostalgia kept me missing with a sort of futility-
Trading one side of the world for another.
Once I was the reacher-out-type to write,
call,
connect-
attention seek, attention seek.....
Dramatic bonds kept intact through thick and thin.
But for the last few years-
That has dwindled away on its own.
I love some connections and relationships so much-
But I don’t write,
Don’t call,
Don’t text,
I Don’t
I Don’t
Don’t....
I could blame it on putting my career first,
Focusing on self care.
Wishing to be the one that others reached out for.
Maturity, Boundaries
Selfishness or exhaustion-
Maybe a mix.
A menagerie of reasons and excuses.
I recall explaining, more than once-
That after a day at work of “people-ing-“
I had nothing left in my tank for personal relationships.
Service requires full energy and attention.
Some relationships stuck: no matter what-
Once-a-week calls with mum, Lindy.
Some were random urges while taking an evening walk..
Others a daily snap, daily connect.
That “I’m thinking of you and want you in my life” thing, mid-tide maintenance.
Social media became ... meh.
I might scroll through or make a tick Tok and share-
But reels go unchecked and messages hang out in the “I’ll answer them” zone.
Sometimes on it- other times not.
It didn’t mean I didn’t care..
It meant an excuse to be lazy.
Fickle.
Though,
It was true that approximately 4 years were centrally and obsessively, taking over all the “time” tucked away for socializing.
Socialize?
I don’t doooo that ...
Except when I do, rarely initiated by me.
Could it be, that the moon was so close to my side of the planet-
Tides so high,
Drawing away from the other side of world...?
The other side,
Where -it’s my responsibility to stay in touch, remind people they matter, be there for them, listening and supporting...
Like a good friend should-
Know it’s the moon, but also know my career is hogging it.
Conversations were dominated by that any way.
A friend said once:
Listen 90 percent of the time, speak 10.
Hmm.
I recall those overflowing episodes of way more than 10 percent.
Energy stolen from the questioning curiosity.
Sitting on the beach..
Or walking in it...
While the tide is rolling in:
Knowing that the moon is coming in this direction.
We might ask-
I might...
Why relationships come and go-
Ebb and flow.
I think it’s just the moon, man...
The way the balance shifts around the globe.
The highs and lows of living.
Things come and go,
But the connection to them- of course, remains.
What is there to stay, comes rushing back again.
It’s only the debris that gets washed away.
