I wonder how often we actually stop to consider...
What it is we are actually doing.
Each person,
Wrapped in skin made up of the same matter.
Separate and the same.
Uniquely identical.
Hardwired for connection-
Neuroscientist will say.
Yet endlessly,
Helplessly -
Helping and harming at the exact same time.
I listened to this guy talking about different forms of manipulation.
As he spoke-
My mind unwound the fact that I could simultaneously make out instances that form has happened to me-
And times I have done it.
Thoughtlessly - without intent probably...
And yet in recognizing that-
I wondered in a parallel thought...
Well-
If I didn’t do in on purpose...
Did the other person?
Maybe not.
Maybe they were just blindly stumbling around in the dark like me.
Would they feel that sense of horror ...realizing what they did?
Like I do?
There is such a trend-
Pointing fingers.
Naming this one a “label” and stating at the same time that the other one “can’t help it”.
What if none of us can?
What if the wounded connections- seeking connections- constantly...
Are just fragments of all the same hurt and hurting?
I guess when I was younger-
It was so much easier to see things cut and dry.
Good skin bags and bad skin bags.
Yet age has a way of bringing with it moments when you ARE the bad skin bag.
And you don’t want to be that...
You never planned it that way at all.
So I wonder, how many - in honest reflection- could specifically, clearly and without question:
State the intentions of another person...
With narcissism and neurodivergence being the trendy label to smack on folks-
How many of those “labelled” are actually sinister.
How many are actually completely unaware of the impact of their behaviour?
Oh, and better yet-
How many times has someone clearly, calmly communicated with them about their behaviour and how it affects them or others?
...without blaming, shaming or projecting....
Hmm,
I don’t think I’m fully convinced any more, that anyone can proclaim with any certainty about the motives and intentions of another person.
Not without communication.
Perhaps “manipulation” is just another way to blame someone else for how we feel or respond to a certain set of circumstances.
Something I will ponder on, for sure.
-E